Sign Here

(conclusions)

(mystical76)

(danajeri)

(faithnomore)

(goovie)

(ultracrisp)

(veralynn)

(soonerbred)

7:04 p.m. - 2003-12-07

(insert apologies for never writing here)

So, a few weeks ago a very dear friend of mine came by for a night. She�s hands down my oldest friend. And for some reason she was in a reminiscing mood (this isn�t common for her) so we ended up chattering away like a tv left on nick-at-night all night. It was wonderful and soul warming. But I was left with a bugging feeling. An itch of a thought. You see, back in middle school and highschool I was, well, to put it bluntly I was a better person. I was more giving, more chill, more unselfish, more relaxed and more patient. What happen? I mean I don�t consider myself to be evil or anything, its just that I don�t feel like I am that person anymore, and I don�t see myself able to emulate him either. So I decided to at least find some reason, some rationale to help me explain how I went from there to here. To that end, I pulled out �my life�, that box which I dutifully crammed every note I received and every note I never got the nerve to send throughout middle and highschool. The answer wasn�t in any one letter but in the feeling I got whilst reading them. That longing for the simpler days. What I was able to formulate was that back then I knew I was young, and had a pretty good appreciation of that fact and understood that I had my whole life in front of me. Basically, that there was plenty of world infront of me, so no worries� But now, I�ve got a quarter of my life behind me, and I know that in that quarter are thousands of events that are incapable of repeating. And that this knowledge gives oneself a very acute sense of time and finiteness. This then breeds a semi subtle state of paranoia and anxiousness. Thus �here�s Johnny!� Now before I get pounded with �hey theres still a lot of world etc�.� Please remember, its not like im awful now or anything and anyways C�est La Vie.

Take care,

-Fritz

It�s been cool - 2005-05-18
Event Horizon - 2004-08-03
For the record - 2004-06-06
For the record - 2004-06-06
nonforgotten - 2004-04-30

If you happen to have a surplus of funds, please feel free to buy something for little old me off my Wish list. You will earn my undying love and gratitude. ;)

(AugustDreams)

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(stonebridge)

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(eclectic117)

(batten)

(ask-obiwan)

(sixweasels)

(mrsrobinson)

(evanadine)

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(vortex79)

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